I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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