we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
