I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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