I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
