Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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