roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
