so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
