Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
