You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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