Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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