so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
