I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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