We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
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