Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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