Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
