idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
