nut hugger
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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