I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
