I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
