Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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