you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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