just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
