I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
