Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
