i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
