Swine flu. Run for my life!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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