you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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