So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
