her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
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Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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