So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
