When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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