okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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