I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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