sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
