i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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