just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
