We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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