I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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