So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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