If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
