i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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