yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
