he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize