he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
