Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
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But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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