God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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