The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We left the knife in your bed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
