He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
