How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
