You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
