Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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