So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You took a bar mat shot.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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