Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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