btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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