Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
