I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
