And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
