You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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