$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
