Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
