I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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