I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
