new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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