the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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