absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
