I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
