I must be too annoying 4 u.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
