hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I look better un-naked...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Randomize
