You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
