Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
